Once upon a time, in an eclectically musical culture far, far away, there was this crazy little song called “Lady Marmalade” that was recorded by the group LaBelle, featuring Pattie LaBelle, that start off seemingly innocuous and innocent enough with the words “Hey Sister, Go Sister, Soul Sister, Go Sister!”
Sure, at one time or another we’ve all heard it or one of the numerous “remakes” of the old classic, including a recently popular version by Christina Aguilera, Pink, Mya and Lil’ Kim for the film Moulin Rouge.
The song was catchy enough that many culturally astute young girls learned to sing and dance right along with the tune, without realizing that the song was about a New Orleans, French Quarter “Lady Of The Evening” eliciting some illicit attention from a “John” named Joe.
Well sometimes the inability to at first sight; see exactly what’s going on right in front of your face led to an amazingly delicious treat called “Bacon Marmalade.
You see; the creator of Bacon Marmalade, a New York chef named Ross Hutchison was cooking some bacon and before he knew it, it was burnt and heading to what then seemed like an inevitable appointment and final resting place in the big trash barrel out back.
But suddenly the light bulb went off in Ross’s head and he got inspired to add some additional ingredients to the charred pork, such as some vinegar and sugar, creating a most uniquely original and tasty “spread’ that can top off practically anything to supply what every tongue truly desires, the flavor of sweet and salty, savory and sultry BACON!
This taste bud temptress was way beyond mere seductively sizzling… and the next thing Chef Ross knew, he was a suddenly a much sought out “culinary celebrity,” celebrated all throughout New York and Beyond!
Bacon Marmalade is most certainly more than just another popular and fun bacon novelty item but is actually quickly becoming a tend with followers on Twitter and friends and fans over at Facebook.
Regarding the near “addictive” taste of Bacon marmalade, Hutchison explains, “A friend of mine was here while I was making it one day and his eyes lit up when he tasted it. He said it was like crack.”
According to a recent report about the Bacony Bonanza posted over at Flash News, “another fan compulsively eats the bacon spread straight out of the jar whenever she needs a pick-me-up.”
Chef Ross is pretty much open minded to whatever you choose to enjoy the spread on, as he insists that Bacon Marmalade is “meant to be enjoyed simply” so he doesn’t judge. As every jar is packed to the brim with half a pound of bacon, this little treat is definitely going to be a favorite amongst all of us Baconators and Baconettes out there!
For those who are dying to try this stuff out, you can special order it directly from Ross himself in New York by emailing him at Bacon@BaconMarmalade.com .
While having a conversation with a friend, we agreed that Mickey Rourke looks like bacon. (I can hear you nodding your head and saying, “Hey, now that you mention it…!”) I should tell you that this revelation wasn’t the “tangental” part of the conversation either. This, if you will excuse the pun, was the “meat” of our conversation: Crispy bacon is good, people who look like crispy bacon are bad.
Our first bacon-look-alike is the aforementioned, Mickey Rourke:
If you ride your bacon hard and put it away wet… you have Mickey Rourke. Yikes. (Please, sir, it’s called “moisturizer.” Please Google it or something. Please.)
Second… This guy:
I had no idea who this oompa-loompa-wanna-be is but HOLY ORANGE JULIUS. That is a crispy piece of skin you’re sporting there, dude. And it’s only made worse due to the contrast of the beautiful porcelain skinned, Anne Hathaway (left), and the self-absorbed and transparent, Gwenyth Paltrow (right).
Third… George Hamilton:
He is sooooo over-cooked that you know he smells like an old belt buried away in your grandparents’ attic on a hot summer afternoon. Moving on…
Fourth… The Jersey Shore Cast:
These 6 little rashers are the pancetta of Jersey. And even worse, it’s fake bakin’. I mean bacon. Or bakin’. Now I’m confused….
Last, but certainly NOT least ….Kevon Bacon!
Personally, just give me good old fashioned bacon anyday…
For the record, I’d like to state that if it wasn’t snowing like the world is ending, my bacon loving behind would be in Des Moines, Iowa, for their third annual Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival.
On Saturday, February 27th, 600 lucky ticket holders will convene and pig out on 1000 pounds of bacon. 1000 pounds! That’s half a ton! To give you an idea of how much bacon that is, let’s review what else weighs in at 1000 pounds:
a Siberian tiger
an 8-month old baby elephant
Michael Bay’s ego
A freak “Cinderella carriage sized” pumpkin in Kentucky (I am not making this up. Read about it here!
Last year, there were 13 different kinds of bacon to sample. So far, one of the hottest items this year are the chocolate chunk bacon cookies being sold at Baby Boomer’s Cafe in the East Village. (If they would like to send me some, I’ll be happy to try them! I’ll need about 30 though for an accurate tasting. I call it a “bacon’s dozen.”)
While I’m sad that I’m not attending (nor will I get to participate in the bacon-eating contest, which I’ve honestly been inadvertently training for my whole life), I am glad that 600 fellow bacon lovers will be getting together and masticating on tasty pork products. Mmmm. Masticating.
I am moving to Argentina. I’m packing as I write this actually. And here’s why: Cristina Fernandez, Argentina’s president made the statement that pork is better and more effective than Viagra. (Where can I send money for her next presidential campaign? Can I sponsor her for a VISA to the US?)
This fabulous news! Think of all the benefits:
No longer having to stand in long pharmacy lines
No side effects if your bacon eating experience lasts over 4 hours
No more embarrassing discussions with your doctor about how your man-bits don’t work so hot – just go grocery shopping!
BACON IS PORK!
Other countries, according to the head of the association of pork producers (how can I make that MY job title??), Juan Luis Uccelli, that have “harmonious sex lives” due to the ingestion of pork are Denmark and Japan. So upon further thought, maybe since I’m not entirely “bathing suit ready,” (shut up, it’s winter!) I’ll skip Argentina and head to Denmark first. Parkas are sexy, yes?
What’s with everyone writing songs about meat? Not that I’m complaining! I’d much rather hear (suffer?) a song about dead cow carcass over the merits of a nutritious rutabaga any day.
You had me at “meat snack” but then kinda lost me with the rest of the song. (AND the fact that you made me wait until 2:46 to hear about bacon is unforgivable. Hello! Bacon is a headliner! Saving it until the end is about as smart as having a kids birthday party and keeping the clown for after the kids play a rousing game of “Wash the Dishes” and “Deflate the Bounce House.”)
Just like Bacon Care of Bizniz, this meat loving ditty also should have ended around the 1:06 mark (or at least then jumped to the part about how making a milkshake better is by adding bacon – HAHHA! It’s funny because it’s true.). Short and sweet, people! Like a nice six inch piece of bacon covered in brown sugar and barbecue sauce. Mmmm…
But it should be said that at least Sonia and Max got off their butts and made a music video. All I’ve made lately is some cellulite. And maybe some arm waddle.
For all you doubters out there who believed that “bacon” was about to jump the shark, had best rethink their naysaying ways. According to the Food Channel (www.foodchannel.com) “bacon” isn’t just a trending topic for the year, but for the whole decade. (That’s ten years to you and me, kids.)
Superfruits such as Acai, Pomegranate and Blueberry
Oils, such as olive oils and truffle oils
Whole grains, such as Kashi, polenta, risotto
Artisan foods, particularly breads, cheeses and dark chocolate
Anybody else notice that ALL these items go well with bacon? Hmmm? (“Nope,” you say? Try wrapping some Angus Beef around a blueberry and then get back to me how that worked out for you…)
And “bacon” didn’t stop there. Its bar was set high these past ten years. “Bacon” was also named as a “Top Flavor” for the decade:
Take note: Bacon is the only meat on this list. (Go “bacon”! It’s your birthday!) The ONLY thing wrong with this list is that “hibiscus” beat “bacon.” (What’s next? Dandelion? Rag Weed? Eye of newt?) So there’s the goal for the next decade. Let’s bring bacon up the list and leave “hibiscus” in the dust. Where it belongs. Literally.
We’re excited to announce that we have just finalized the acquisition of Bac’n by the good folks over at BaconFreak.com.
Rocco and his great team at BaconFreak.com will continue to run the site as-is and existing customers will see the same great service you’ve come to expect from Bac’n.
We launched Bacn.com just under a year ago and since then we have had an amazing time building this great site and the community that has built up around it. We can’t thank everyone enough but we have to give a few shout outs:
Pete Grillo for telling us to follow our pork … err dreams
Holly Glaspey for whipping up the most fantastic branding on-a-whim ever
For everyone that came out for MasterBacon one year ago to help kick off the Bac’n craze
Belinda Strange for coming up with the idea for the Bac’n Babe of the Month
Akasha Becker for taking it over the finish line in the past few months doing fulfillment for us
Its been one amazing ride for myself, Jason and Michael. Jason and I are starting work on the book about launching the company: “Makin’ Bac’n: From idea to startup in 21 days”. Look for that coming via Peach Pit Press this Spring at your favorite book retailers everywhere (and of course right here at bacn.com).
A few weeks ago while at my local farmer’s market, I had just about finished all my produce shopping when I stopped by the Prather Ranch stall to off-set all those healthy purchases. They’re known for having great meat, and I’m a huge fan of their bacon. Not too smoky, cut just right. Usually I just grab whatever package of bacon they have up front, but this time I took a little more time, looking passing over a few until I ferreted out the one I wanted. There was a woman next to me, clearly watching what I was doing, and it was a damn proud moment when the butcher ringing me up noted (without irony, I’ll have you know), “good choice.”
So, how can you determine good bacon for yourself and earn the respect of butchers and fellow shoppers alike? Easy, go for the meat.
The way you buy bacon is basically the opposite of how you’d buy other meat. When you go to your butcher’s counter, you want more marbling through the muscle, a lot of fat to flavor the meat. Bacon goes the other way. While so much of the goodness of bacon comes from its really high fat to meat ratio, you don’t want a really fatty bite all the way through.
Take your average example of raw bacon provided to you by a quick photo search.
All that fat. All that whiteness. All it’s going to do is cook away and leave you with just a few little bites to chew on. It shrivels down to nothing and leaves a whole lot of grease in the pan. Great for rendering fat, not so great for eating.
Now instead, take another image from that same search. This bacon? This is what you want to get. A whole lot of meat that’s going to cook up and just enough fat to bring it all together.
So, next time you’re at the farmer’s market or the regular market or your corner bacon store (let me dream, damn it), don’t be shy about opting for the meatiest bacon you can find. It’ll be worth it.
While our love for bacon runs both true and deep, we realize it isn’t entirely feasible to enjoy the savory taste of bacon much more beyond traditional mealtimes. Breakfast is taken care of, lunch can be a BLT, and salty pig parts have been making their way to the dinner table for awhile now. But we want more. We want to take bacon with us to the office, spend some time on the couch with bacon, find it in our mailbox and sprinkle it over every moment of the day.
Thankfully, there are some like-minded people over at J&D, the makers of Bacon Salt.
Newly introduced to their line-up of pig-inspired products are mmmvelopes and Bacon Pop, poised and ready to make our days a lot more baconified.
Mmmvelopes take the usually dull act of licking an envelope and makes it infinitely better by adding bacon flavor. This could be big. This could spark the waning art of handwritten letters, give the post office the boost they need to make it through the rough economy, encourage you to actually write your Senator or even spur you to pay your bills on time. Or get some and send us a letter. We love mail.
You know when you’re in the office, and it’s around 3:00, and some secretary is hungry, but not really hungry, and someone says “snack o’clock,” and suddenly the entire place reeks of terrible fake-butter microwave popcorn smell? J&D are going to change all that with BaconPop, their entry into the snack sector of bacon appreciation. Soon, offices will smell of bacon, movie nights will be much more savory, and snack o’clock will never be the same.
Thanks J&D. You’ve helped bring bacon beyond traditional meals, and into other parts of our lives. You’ve inspired us. Like tonight, I think there’s a good chance of seeing what happens when popcorn gets popped in bacon grease. This is going to be good.
It’s that time of year, when there’s a distinct crispness in the air, when nights are getting longer and days are getting colder and suddenly it seems every baked good and filled ravioli has pumpkin in it. And depending on your own family dynamic you’re met either with a sense of comfort or deep foreboding at the upcoming Holiday Season.
In my family, we’re blissfully conflict-free, for the most part. We come together, we cook, and we all know to get the hell out of the kitchen when my Godmother kicks off her annual gravy-making frenzy. But, Be it politics, power struggles, too much alcohol (or a catastrophic lack of it), there are all kinds of reasons why the Thanksgiving table can be a tense one.
So why not bring a unifying element to the table. Something that everyone can agree on. Something without politics, without baggage. Something that brings people together and makes everything better. Something like bacon.
This isn’t to suggest you simply cook up a rasher of bacon and bring it to the table (though not the worst idea ever considered). No, get creative! From soup to nuts, there is a whole host of ways to introduce bacon to your Thanksgiving table.
Consider this Thanksgiving menu:
Cauliflower soup with crispy shallot and bacon pieces
Green peas with pearl onions and garlic bacon
Southern mashed potatoes finished with bacon grease
Applewood-smoked Bacon wrapped turkey
Brussels Sprouts with pepper bacon (see last post!)
Maple-Baconified Apple Pie
Now of course, reading over the menu, it feels like it could be a little one-note, right? A little redundant? Think again. In fact, by marrying different kinds of bacon with all these different flavors, you really have the opportunity to explore and engage the range of bacon’s flavor profile. From savory to sweet, from bitter to whatever the opposite of bitter is.
Providing you don’t have a vegetarian in your midst (and we’ve found even some of them can be swayed), we believe bacon can be something the entire family can find common ground in. Change up tradition. Make a new one. And make sure to save some bacon for turkey sandwiches the next day.