While having a conversation with a friend, we agreed that Mickey Rourke looks like bacon. (I can hear you nodding your head and saying, “Hey, now that you mention it…!”) I should tell you that this revelation wasn’t the “tangental” part of the conversation either.  This, if you will excuse the pun, was the “meat” of our conversation:  Crispy bacon is good, people who look like crispy bacon are bad.

Our first bacon-look-alike is the aforementioned, Mickey Rourke:


If you ride your bacon hard and put it away wet… you have Mickey Rourke.  Yikes.  (Please, sir, it’s called “moisturizer.”  Please Google it or something.  Please.)

Second… This guy:


I had no idea who this oompa-loompa-wanna-be is but HOLY ORANGE JULIUS.  That is a crispy piece of skin you’re sporting there, dude.  And it’s only made worse due to the contrast of the beautiful porcelain skinned, Anne Hathaway (left), and the self-absorbed  and transparent, Gwenyth Paltrow (right).

Third… George Hamilton:


He is sooooo over-cooked that you know he smells like an old belt buried away in your grandparents’ attic on a hot summer afternoon.  Moving on…

Fourth… The Jersey Shore Cast:

These 6 little rashers are the pancetta of Jersey.  And even worse, it’s fake bakin’.  I mean bacon.  Or bakin’.  Now I’m confused….


Last, but certainly NOT least ….Kevon Bacon!

Personally, just give me good old fashioned bacon anyday…



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