While having a conversation with a friend, we agreed that Mickey Rourke looks like bacon. (I can hear you nodding your head and saying, “Hey, now that you mention it…!”) I should tell you that this revelation wasn’t the “tangental” part of the conversation either. This, if you will excuse the pun, was the “meat” of our conversation: Crispy bacon is good, people who look like crispy bacon are bad.
Our first bacon-look-alike is the aforementioned, Mickey Rourke:
If you ride your bacon hard and put it away wet… you have Mickey Rourke. Yikes. (Please, sir, it’s called “moisturizer.” Please Google it or something. Please.)
Second… This guy:
I had no idea who this oompa-loompa-wanna-be is but HOLY ORANGE JULIUS. That is a crispy piece of skin you’re sporting there, dude. And it’s only made worse due to the contrast of the beautiful porcelain skinned, Anne Hathaway (left), and the self-absorbed and transparent, Gwenyth Paltrow (right).
Third… George Hamilton:
He is sooooo over-cooked that you know he smells like an old belt buried away in your grandparents’ attic on a hot summer afternoon. Moving on…
Fourth… The Jersey Shore Cast:
These 6 little rashers are the pancetta of Jersey. And even worse, it’s fake bakin’. I mean bacon. Or bakin’. Now I’m confused….
Last, but certainly NOT least ….Kevon Bacon!
Personally, just give me good old fashioned bacon anyday…