I am moving to Argentina.  I’m packing as I write this actually.  And here’s why:  Cristina Fernandez, Argentina’s president made the statement that pork is better and more effective than Viagra.  (Where can I send money for her next presidential campaign?  Can I sponsor her for a VISA to the US?)

Cristina Fernandez

This fabulous news!  Think of all the benefits:

  • No longer having to stand in long pharmacy lines
  • No side effects if your bacon eating experience lasts over 4 hours
  • No more embarrassing discussions with your doctor about how your man-bits don’t work so hot – just go grocery shopping!

Other countries, according to the head of the association of pork producers (how can I make that MY job title??), Juan Luis Uccelli, that have “harmonious sex lives” due to the ingestion of pork are Denmark and Japan.  So upon further thought, maybe since I’m not entirely “bathing suit ready,” (shut up, it’s winter!) I’ll skip Argentina and head to Denmark first.  Parkas are sexy, yes?

Viva PORK!

–Jennifer Eolin

11 Responses to “Pork is Better For… Porking?”

  1. Joanne Schiffbauer Says:
    January 30th, 2010 at 4:47 am

    Because of you, I'm looking at "Miss Piggy" in a whole new light. And, "Porky Pig," even with his speech impediment was quite a guy!
    You, Jennifer, are "as one" with the pork! Keep up the good work!

  2. Jennifer Eolin Says:
    January 30th, 2010 at 6:17 pm

    HAHAHHAHAHAAA! I never thought about that (re: Miss Piggy and Porky Pig)! Excellent observation. Gold star!

    Glad you like the posts – Thank you! :)

  3. James Says:
    January 30th, 2010 at 6:22 pm

    Who needs Viagra if you have Pork!

  4. Jennifer Eolin Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 5:39 am

    RIGHT? :)

  5. Brad Says:
    February 23rd, 2010 at 8:14 pm

    I just keep thinking of that scene in European Vacation when Rusty says to Clark, "Dad I think he's gonna pork her…"

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  11. wendy Says:
    July 13th, 2012 at 4:26 pm

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